Diet Culture Skeptics Gifts

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Lite Beer.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'Do you want flies with that?'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

'I'm going to start you off with a simple diet -- don't eat anything you can't pronounce.'

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

'Does this fig leaf make me look fat?'