Dieting Skeptic Gifts

New Studies Show All Foods Bad For You.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Try this diet and if it works, I'll try it!'

'This has no vitamins or minerals but it's guaranteed not to cause cancer.'

'Diet ready meals' 'Can help reduce weight only by not actually eating it'

"I'm putting you on a whatever-you-like-to-eat-don't diet."

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

'To be honest Beryl, the Boss just made 'em smaller this week...'

"The diet pills were expensive and didn't work...I lost 200 pounds!"

'These fad diets don't do a thing for me. I just keep getting 'fadder'.'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'Just felt like having a light lunch today.'

'In just four days it's taken three and a half inches off my waistline.'

"All these healthy eating edicts and chew twenty times...I'm fed up to where my back teeth used to be!"

"Well there goes the last of the New Year's resolutions."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Fat man on scales.

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."