Diet Devotee Gifts

Doris' diy bum lifts proved to be a great weight-loss method.

'Hi, my name's Krystyn, and I'll be the nutritionist liaison to your waiter tonight.'

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

The Internet of Things

'I hate her...'

'Try to kill something that will allow me to stay within a daily 1800 calorie diet.'

'Uh, actually I did you a favor. Do you know how many carbs there are in porridge?'

Enormous obesity report.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

Diet Food...& lots of it

Robert couldn't understand why he was such a lousy salesman...

"Ready to head back?"

'I still say you haven't given the diet a fair chance.'

'Before swallowing this diet pill, take it for a 5-mile hike.'

"The way I figure it, we can reach our goal of 10,000 steps a day by moving the refrigerator to the far wall."

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

"Don't swallow them. Just spill them on the floor, three times a day, and pick them up one at a time."

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

'How's the garlic diet? Have you lost anything?'

'Relax. I'm the Trim Reaper. I'm here for hr flabby thighs and your spare tire.'

'The exercise ball really worked! I fell off it and ended up in the hospital. Couldn't stand the food and lost enough weight to fit into this suit.'

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

'Maybe we should switch to low carb crackers?!' - Fat parrot wants a cracker.

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"I think diet and exercise are better ways to lose weight than hoping to develop food allergies."

'Let me put it this way. You're going to have to deflate your spare tire.'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

'It's the new, low cost lap banding.'

To the frustration of trick-or-treaters, the Wagners were obsessed with the Atkins Diet.

'Dad! - Mum's cheating again!'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'