Diet Devotee T-Shirts

'Hi, my name's Krystyn, and I'll be the nutritionist liaison to your waiter tonight.'

Doris' diy bum lifts proved to be a great weight-loss method.

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

The Internet of Things

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Try to kill something that will allow me to stay within a daily 1800 calorie diet.'

'I hate her...'

'Uh, actually I did you a favor. Do you know how many carbs there are in porridge?'

Enormous obesity report.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

Diet Food...& lots of it

"Ready to head back?"

Robert couldn't understand why he was such a lousy salesman...

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

'I still say you haven't given the diet a fair chance.'

"The way I figure it, we can reach our goal of 10,000 steps a day by moving the refrigerator to the far wall."

"Don't swallow them. Just spill them on the floor, three times a day, and pick them up one at a time."

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

'Relax. I'm the Trim Reaper. I'm here for hr flabby thighs and your spare tire.'

'Before swallowing this diet pill, take it for a 5-mile hike.'

'How's the garlic diet? Have you lost anything?'

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"How's the Paleo diet going?"

'The exercise ball really worked! I fell off it and ended up in the hospital. Couldn't stand the food and lost enough weight to fit into this suit.'

"I think diet and exercise are better ways to lose weight than hoping to develop food allergies."

'Let me put it this way. You're going to have to deflate your spare tire.'

'My new diet program works perfectly. It's so expensive that I don't have any money left for food.'

"Careful, don't bite off more than you can chew!"

Personal Calorie Counter

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."