Diet Diversity Devotee Gifts

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

All Natural Nothing

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."