Dieting Enthusiasts Gifts

"I need to lay off those seven birthday cakes a year."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'If you're the one who asked for the personalized eating plan, you may be sorry you did.'

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

"For heavens sake, Margaret. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet!"

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Fat man on scales.

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'