Weight Loss Enthusiasts Gifts

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Fat man on scales.

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Body Building

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'