Weight Loss Enthusiasts Pillows

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"It's true: no more burpees."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Body Building

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Fat man on scales.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."