Healthy Lifestyle Enthusiasts Pillows

I lost 10 pounds during that last thaw...but it was all water weight.

Man eating and exercising at the same time.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Corona Funeral

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"