Health Enthusiasts Pillows

"It's always best to start with a low dose and closely monitor the results."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

The old good-doc, bad cop routine.

'You have to actually exercise. Jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping breakfast and juggling two jobs won't do it.'

'If you stop smoking now, you will add three years to your life. Since you are a lawyer, that's about six thousand billable hours.'

Why do I need a CAT scan? I just had a whole body scan at the airport.

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"

"And it was so typically brilliant of you to have invited an epidemiologist."

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

The good and bad news for the species is we have less fat than beef.

"You both appear to be in excellent health."

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

'In the last 26 years, I've lost 2143 pounds. Unfortunately, in the same period I've gained 2187 pounds!'

Did the new slimming drug test okay? No, sorry, too many side effects!

'Oh, Boy! Swine flu vaccine!'

"Your paranoia of lyme disease is ridiculous!"

Vitamins + Supplements

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

Kenneth has come down with a bug.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"Thank You For Not Mentioning Dr. Oz."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Masked and maskless

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"They replaced all the soda with bottled water!"

"Surprise...! I made you a nice breakfast of bacon, ham, and sausage..."

I guarantee your appetite will be suppressed if you take one of these diet pills per day.

No admittance or cellulite.

'Take two tablets three times a day, before what used to be breakfast, lunch and dinner.'

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

Calling doctor - "Oh, he's really bad....the chemists deliver."