Diet Enthusiast With A Twist Gifts

''Light' beer bottles. Somewhere there's a slob on a diet.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Fast Food Dieter

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Fat man on scales.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Pelobong

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."