Caloric Indulgence Enthusiast Gifts

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Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Fat man on scales.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

It's not an addiction if you only do it once a year!

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'Please take this away from me.'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

Complex Carbs

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Bangers and Mash

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."