Low-carb Connoisseur Gifts

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbohydrates

Complex Carbs

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

How to do without

'I am not saying you have to give up all sea food...just shrimp!'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

Crusty Bread

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

'It looks like bacon and eggs, but it's 100% bran.'

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

The Decafé

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

'Look! I told you, I don't wanna hear about your staple diet. . .'

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

Low Carb Slop