Low-carb Connoisseur Pillows

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

How to do without

'I am not saying you have to give up all sea food...just shrimp!'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

Crusty Bread

'It looks like bacon and eggs, but it's 100% bran.'

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

The Decafé

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

Low Carb Slop

'Look! I told you, I don't wanna hear about your staple diet. . .'

Bad Carbs