Low-carb Lifestyle Gifts

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Steamed vegetables."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Save our Planet.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"It's a hybrid!"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"My joints... are almost done"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

At One With Nature

Deforestation

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

Ethanol Fuel.

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

The Tiny Houseboat Movement

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

Low Carb Slop

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

'She might prefer the low-carb alternative...or any alternative.'

'No thanks, I'm on a low carb diet.'

"Don't look left or right!"

It's admirable you do your bit to save the planet by wearing green undies, but let's not forget, they weren't green when you bought them!

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.