Low-carb Lifestyle Gifts

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Steamed vegetables."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Save our Planet.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"It's a hybrid!"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

Where Pleather Comes From

"My joints... are almost done"

At One With Nature

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Deforestation

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

Ethanol Fuel.

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

The Tiny Houseboat Movement

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

Low Carb Slop

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

'She might prefer the low-carb alternative...or any alternative.'

'No thanks, I'm on a low carb diet.'

It's admirable you do your bit to save the planet by wearing green undies, but let's not forget, they weren't green when you bought them!

"Don't look left or right!"

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.