Low-carb Lifer Gifts

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

Crusty Bread

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

Low Carb Slop

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"

'I'll have potato soup, potato salad, baked potato with fries and for dessert, potato pancakes.'

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

Slimmer's baguette.

'No thanks, I'm on a low carb diet.'

'She might prefer the low-carb alternative...or any alternative.'

"I hope this isn't one of those, glutten-free, places."

'Marathon...? what Marathon...!'

'Oh that's why I put on weight - all I eat is carbs!'

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.

"Well, at least you won't need to take your potato vitamins tonight."