Low-carb Gifts

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Sawdust.

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

'Raymond, do you really love me or just my low-carbohydrate meat?'

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

Low Carb Slop

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

'She might prefer the low-carb alternative...or any alternative.'

'Oh that's why I put on weight - all I eat is carbs!'

'No thanks, I'm on a low carb diet.'

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.

'Hey! How about going easy on the carbs!'

'Polly wants a cracker!' 'Maybe we should switch to low-carb crackers?!'

Cauliflower rice isn't the same