Low-carb Diets Gifts

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

Low Carb Slop

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Vegetarian Birds

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'