Low Carb Diet Gifts

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Sawdust.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"