Low Carb Diet T-Shirts

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

The discovery of asparagus.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Sawdust.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'