Low-carb Fan Gifts

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Recycling bottle bank.

"I love this time of year."

Smart Arse Meter

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

''Course I conserve energy, Honey. I always put the mute on during commercials.'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Our produce has no pesticides. Insecticides. Chemical fertilizer artificial colour, or flavouring.

"Either Bob lost weight or you jammed too much helium into those balloons."

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

'He's our power hitter - but only on sunny days.'

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

Happiness is iPadding a nature show in surround-smell.

'Now if everyone in Britain drove a car like that, we could save our planet!'

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

'I'm the Good Witch of the North, so could I have some sugar-free mints and dental floss?'

Friends Of The Turf

Low Carb Slop

"Should anyone present think Dan’s tree-hugging has gone off the rails, speak now or forever hold your peace."

"Now that the kids are grown, I think we should invest in something more economical."

'Looks like a great job!'

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

Hilbert got an energy star certification for his energy efficiency.

"Have you ever considered switching to an environmentally friendly cloth bag?"

'This baby gets 12 city, 13 highway and 25 off a bridge.'

'He says he'd like his change in Skodas...'

'I said 'Capistrano', you idiot.'

"We are trying to invent an engine that can run on human gas! There is a endless supply of energy out there!