Earth-friendly Fan Gifts

"Should anyone present think Dan’s tree-hugging has gone off the rails, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Solar Frankenstein

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Recycling bottle bank.

After his first day, Lester, the new accountant for Acme Solar, Wind & Biomass Energy, Corp., realized he had become a green bean counter.

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

Space Pioneer

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Smart Arse Meter

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

A woman waters her plants which include a spider plant, a tiny hydroelectric plant, a tiny coal burning plant, a tiny nuclear plant, and a philodendron.

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"Our teeth-cleaning procedure is 100% organic."

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

Our produce has no pesticides. Insecticides. Chemical fertilizer artificial colour, or flavouring.

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

'He's our power hitter - but only on sunny days.'

Car on bike.

'I bought it in Windsor - it belonged to the Queen Mum!'

Bottle Bank.

'I built the patio out of old newspapers.'

Recycling container marked 'free stuff'.

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

Recycling centre - newspapers,magazines,unfinished sudokus.

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

"Based on those growth rings maybe that branch was only 39 years old, but there's no way the rest of her is."

"Relax, honey — they’re apples."