Eco-friendly Fan Gifts

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Smart Arse Meter

Hilbert got an energy star certification for his energy efficiency.

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

'Looks like a great job!'

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Solar Frankenstein

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Recycling bottle bank.

After his first day, Lester, the new accountant for Acme Solar, Wind & Biomass Energy, Corp., realized he had become a green bean counter.

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Space Pioneer

A woman waters her plants which include a spider plant, a tiny hydroelectric plant, a tiny coal burning plant, a tiny nuclear plant, and a philodendron.

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

''Course I conserve energy, Honey. I always put the mute on during commercials.'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"Our teeth-cleaning procedure is 100% organic."

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

Our produce has no pesticides. Insecticides. Chemical fertilizer artificial colour, or flavouring.

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

'He's our power hitter - but only on sunny days.'

Car on bike.

'I bought it in Windsor - it belonged to the Queen Mum!'

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

Bottle Bank.

Recycling container marked 'free stuff'.

'I built the patio out of old newspapers.'

Recycling centre - newspapers,magazines,unfinished sudokus.

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

"Based on those growth rings maybe that branch was only 39 years old, but there's no way the rest of her is."

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"

"Should anyone present think Dan’s tree-hugging has gone off the rails, speak now or forever hold your peace."

'It's a good start, Harcroft, but I don't think the Green Party will buy it.'

"Relax, honey — they’re apples."