Little Litigators Gifts

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'Take me to your lawyer.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Law Offices

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

"Congratulations, Counselor. It's a boy and your wife's fine. She just had a little difficulty passing his fin through the birth canal."

Out of Court Settlement

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

The Washington Arbitrators