Punny Litigators Gifts

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

Clive Anderson

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"First, admit no harm."

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

The Jury Decides.

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

Chemical Lawyers.

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

"If she sings it's over."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'You're in luck... nasty papercuts are my specialty.'

'Dumpty vs. All the kings men...'

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

Court. Wanting to be "the best me I can be" is no excuse for identity theft!

Waiter, what's this subpoena doing in my soup? You're being sued by the fly.

"We couldn't get any surprise witnesses, but I booked Jay Leno to tell a few jokes on your behalf."