Quirky Litigators Gifts

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

Law Offices

Clive Anderson

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"Case dismissed."

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

Chemical Lawyers.

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

'Do you have a plan B if you can't find work as a frivolous suit litigator?'

"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"

"I used to be a physician, but after being sued for malpractice I realized I was in the wrong profession!"

'Hang 'em high is just an expression Judge!'

'You're in luck... nasty papercuts are my specialty.'

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

'I would like to call as my next witness my toupee, Your Honor,'

Waiter, what's this subpoena doing in my soup? You're being sued by the fly.