Quirky Lawyer Gifts

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Joint Ventures!

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Clive Anderson

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

Law Offices

"No more Dr Nice guy"

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

Law Office High Jinks

Off the wall legal advisor.

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

I'm afraid I'm going to have to disciplines you, counselor. No problem, your honor. I just happen to have some furry handcuffs in my pocket.

'I'm terribly mixed up.'

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

"Here's my card, sweetie. I also happen to do a bit of lawyering on the side."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Piano tuner with an assistant.

'My resume goes best with a Pinot Noir.'