Quirky Professional Gifts

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"Here's my card, sweetie. I also happen to do a bit of lawyering on the side."

Joint Ventures!

"Bookkeeping! The job opening is in bookkeeping!"

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

JC Green. . . All Natural Lawyering.

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"You're right. Normally you don't see when someone has a tattoo on the bottom of their foot."

"...And another thing, Wilkins - it's "cremation" or "Burial..?" and NOT "smoking" or "non-smoking...!""

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Passionate about Halitosis

'I hope it never gets out that our senior accountant counts on his fingers.'

'My resume goes best with a Pinot Noir.'

'Of course I brought my resume--it's tattooed right here.'

"No more Dr Nice guy"

Nonconforming office worker.

A popular tattoo for court reporters.

Pirate's parrot in it's own cubicle.

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"Why, thank you, sir. And I'd like to add that I'm feeling particularly fluffy today, too."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

The world's most unemployable family

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Cat Boss

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'