Quirky Professional T-Shirts

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"Here's my card, sweetie. I also happen to do a bit of lawyering on the side."

Joint Ventures!

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

JC Green. . . All Natural Lawyering.

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"You're right. Normally you don't see when someone has a tattoo on the bottom of their foot."

"...And another thing, Wilkins - it's "cremation" or "Burial..?" and NOT "smoking" or "non-smoking...!""

Passionate about Halitosis

'I hope it never gets out that our senior accountant counts on his fingers.'

'My resume goes best with a Pinot Noir.'

'Of course I brought my resume--it's tattooed right here.'

"No more Dr Nice guy"

Nonconforming office worker.

A popular tattoo for court reporters.

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"Why, thank you, sir. And I'd like to add that I'm feeling particularly fluffy today, too."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

The world's most unemployable family

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Cat Boss

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."