Quirky Careerist Gifts

"Any other skills?"

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

The world's most unemployable family

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

Joint Ventures!

Blend Schools

Urine Catcher

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"Any other skills?"

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"No more Dr Nice guy"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

Bovine Proctology Graduation

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Of course I have to poke people, Mom! It's my job!'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.