Quirky Careerists Gifts

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

My brilliant career

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

The world's most unemployable family

Blend Schools

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'Of course I have to poke people, Mom! It's my job!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

Bovine Proctology Graduation

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

"Any other skills?"

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested

To develop your career Doctor, you really need to specalise.. have you conciered nostrils..

Curse of the mutant gene.

'There's always the circus, Ella. be a bearded lady.'

Career options for fleas were limited.

Let's see... Graduated from Notre Dame... Majored in bell ringing... Minored in stair climbing... Busted your hump for 3 years at the Frank & Stein facility conducting a brain research - Looks like you accidentally crossed out the 'R-E'. Heh.

Window cleaner has number tattooed on his back.

'Son, as I can see it, your career prospects as a pirate seem to be... hm...limited!'

'And that's Doctor Jones, he used to be a Mechanic...!'

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

Personnel. I left my last job over creative differences -- They didn't know what to make of me.

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

"Anyway, long story short, I'm a believer in the old adage 'Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life,' so that's why I became an insurance adjuster."

The Artists Fall-Back Career 'It's an easy gig to get once you stop waxing.'

Lil' Proctologist: 'The kid ain't right.'

"Let's do it, let's fall in love."

"Lawyer is good, but have you ever considered a career in the lucrative world of mascotting?"