Quirky Judge Gifts

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'Court's in recess!'

King and Jester

Arrogant junior barrister

Antonin Scalia

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Judge Mental.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Law Offices

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Computer questionning a witness.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

Hanging Judge

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'Your honor, for personal reasons, my client would prefer to wait in his car while the verdict is being read.'

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'Oh, boy!'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'You are charged with getting involved in the political process....'

'I'm going to rule for the plaintiff's desertion charge and reject your client's assertion that he's really good at playing hide and seek.'

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."

'It's a thin line between love and contempt of court, your honor.'

'Throw yourself on the mercy of the court...'

"I have listened very carefully to all the evidence."