Quirky Justice Gifts

'I'm going to rule for the plaintiff's desertion charge and reject your client's assertion that he's really good at playing hide and seek.'

'I'm afraid that there will be no more food-parcels for you, Bugsy - your Mum's just been nicked for shop-lifting.'

"I have listened very carefully to all the evidence."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Law Offices

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'Your honor, for personal reasons, my client would prefer to wait in his car while the verdict is being read.'

"May we have a recess your honor? My client's pants are on fire."

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

Laws of Chicago - Illegal Objects Inserted in Parking Meters.

'We request a change of venue to a place where the juries are more naive.'

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

"You lucked out -- the grand jury doesn't want to get involved"

'I've been called up for jury service!'

'I always take my lunch on fish stick day.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"So, I understand we're shifting our focus from maximum profits to minimum security."

"Do you know why they call me 'The crazy Judge', Mr. Hanson?"

"This man will be kept in police custard."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

Eavesdropping on the ant world. . .

'It doesn't look good for your sentencing.'

'...Plus an additional 5 years for parking your getaway car in my reserved space!'