Funny Justice Admirer Gifts

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Slow Night

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

'Your Honor, we find the defendant to be the subject of misplaced guilt.'

Audiovisual law

'You're my 100,000th conviction... so, I'm going to take 25 off your sentence.'