Funny Judge Appreciator Gifts

'You are charged with getting involved in the political process....'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Court's in recess!'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

The Sheepdog Trials

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

'When I pled 'Not Guilty,' I forgot to say 'May I?''

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

Computer questionning a witness.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

The Little Attorney

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

'Well, that may be the law, Your Honor, but I don't think it should apply to me.'

"Really, your Honor!"

'Will the defendant explain to the Court why he refuses to be called 'the accused'?'

'I'm not sure if I'm divorced or not. After seeing my husband in court the judge gave custody of him.'

You'll probably get a life sentence, so you'll be out in four months.