Judicial Humor Appreciator Gifts

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Antonin Scalia

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

"Impartiality becomes you."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

Judge

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

The Sheepdog Trials

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

'When I pled 'Not Guilty,' I forgot to say 'May I?''

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Computer questionning a witness.

"In a case like this, a lot depends on which jurisdiction applies. Were you, by any chance, in international waters when you bit him?"

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

The Little Attorney

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

'Oh, boy!'

'Well, that may be the law, Your Honor, but I don't think it should apply to me.'

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

You'll probably get a life sentence, so you'll be out in four months.

"Really, your Honor!"

'Orders in the court'

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court