Justice Humor Fan Gifts

Must you be so judgemental?

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

Law 'N' Order

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"