Justice Humorist Gifts

Juvenile Court

Your eyes are like twin pools of justice. ! !

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

'You'd think that, just once, somebody would have a reasonable doubt!'

'No kidding? -- Nine life sentences?'

'In accordance with California guild lines, I sentence you to death. You will be taken to death row where you will die of old age.'

'...You don't get out enough...none of us do.'

Life Imprisonment

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Impartiality becomes you."

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

Judge

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

"Guilty times infinity."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.

News and Magazines. Legal News. A defendant was freed by a loophole in a law. The statute of liberty.

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

Small Clams Court