Criminal Justice Humorist Gifts

Boy with policeman - "That's Kevin's new tagging device!"

'They got me on a technicality...I was guilty.'

"You list as an honor, a suspended sentence, and your parole as an award?"

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'Click it or ticket.'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

Judge

The Mafia Goes Green.

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'Hello, Mum!'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

News and Magazines. Legal News. A defendant was freed by a loophole in a law. The statute of liberty.

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

"Over here, doofus."