Criminal Justice Humorist Gifts

Boy with policeman - "That's Kevin's new tagging device!"

'They got me on a technicality...I was guilty.'

"You list as an honor, a suspended sentence, and your parole as an award?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Click it or ticket.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

Judge

The Mafia Goes Green.

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

'Hello, Mum!'

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

...Mr.Colman is busy right now - he's burning some books.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Cuffwear, 2004