Justice Jokes Gifts

'He told me he was at the cutting edge of law and order.'

Trial by Media

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Now that's a win."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Stop and Birch

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Anti-war libra.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"