Justice Humor Fan Pillows

Must you be so judgemental?

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

Law 'N' Order

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'