Justice System Humor Lover Gifts

'You can plead 'guilty,' or you can plead 'not guilty' - You can't plead 'no big deal'!'

Antonin Scalia

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

"We need two crates of lager and a bottle of scotch."

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

The hearings on the Supreme Court vacancy will now come to order..."

"I want to thank all of you for a fair trial and if you're ever up Leavenworth way don't fail to drop in and see me."

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

"May we have a recess your honor? My client's pants are on fire."

'Oh, boy!'

'Since prisons are full, I'm sentencing you to 5 years of Jury Duty.'

'The Jury has found you not guilty of robbery.'

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

"The jails were all full so they sent me to an open prison."

'We request a change of venue to a place where the juries are more naive.'

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"You lucked out -- the grand jury doesn't want to get involved"

Arrested outside the grisly scene, Ms. Goody Two-Shoes uttered, "I'll be out in no time. I got no priors."

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'