Justice System Humor Lover Gifts

'You can plead 'guilty,' or you can plead 'not guilty' - You can't plead 'no big deal'!'

Antonin Scalia

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"We need two crates of lager and a bottle of scotch."

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

The hearings on the Supreme Court vacancy will now come to order..."

I know what you mean

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

"I want to thank all of you for a fair trial and if you're ever up Leavenworth way don't fail to drop in and see me."

Adult Crime, Childish Thinking Time

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

"May we have a recess your honor? My client's pants are on fire."

'Oh, boy!'

'We request a change of venue to a place where the juries are more naive.'

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

'Since prisons are full, I'm sentencing you to 5 years of Jury Duty.'

"The jails were all full so they sent me to an open prison."

'The Jury has found you not guilty of robbery.'

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"You lucked out -- the grand jury doesn't want to get involved"

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'