Silly Litigators Gifts

Waiter, what's this subpoena doing in my soup? You're being sued by the fly.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Clive Anderson

Law Offices

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

Transcendental Litigation

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Playing Doctors.

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

'I've always been a proponent of winning people's hearts and minds by suing them.'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

Suees and Sueers

'Ladies and gentlemen... let's not quibble, when we can sue.'

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

Lawyer with no work makes himself look busy

"Any history of medical malpractice suits in your family?"