Playful Litigator Gifts

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Court's in recess!'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Let's take in a trial."

Clive Anderson

Law Offices

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

"First, admit no harm."

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Playing Doctors.

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

Computer questionning a witness.

'I've always been a proponent of winning people's hearts and minds by suing them.'

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

Suees and Sueers

Chemical Lawyers.

'I want the jury to completly disregard counsel's back flip.'

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

'Ladies and gentlemen... let's not quibble, when we can sue.'

"Any history of medical malpractice suits in your family?"