Mischievous Litigators Gifts

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

Clive Anderson

"First, admit no harm."

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"Case dismissed."

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

Law Office High Jinks

'I want the jury to completly disregard counsel's back flip.'

Chemical Lawyers.

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'Do you have a plan B if you can't find work as a frivolous suit litigator?'

"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"

"I used to be a physician, but after being sued for malpractice I realized I was in the wrong profession!"

'Hang 'em high is just an expression Judge!'

'You're in luck... nasty papercuts are my specialty.'

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

'I would like to call as my next witness my toupee, Your Honor,'

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

Waiter, what's this subpoena doing in my soup? You're being sued by the fly.