Laughing Litigator Gifts

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

Clive Anderson

"First, admit no harm."

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

Computer questionning a witness.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

"Innocent, your honor."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'You need to work on your pleading.'

'We find him guilty... but hey... we could be wrong!'

'Since you can't afford an attorney, one will be inflated for you.'

'Look, it has to be 'guilty' or 'not guilty' - you can't plead 'I don't want to talk about it.'!'

'You're in luck... nasty papercuts are my specialty.'

"I'm only doing this job because I feel sorry for my Legal Aid lawyer."

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

"We couldn't get any surprise witnesses, but I booked Jay Leno to tell a few jokes on your behalf."

"You were caught stealing on 15 separate security cameras. How do you plead?"