Little Litigant Gifts

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Child protects planet with umbrella.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Playing Doctors.

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'