Young Litigant Gifts

"Keeping your allowance while suing your parents is going to be tricky."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up.

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

Children hold hands around a map of the world with picnic food.