Young Jurist Gifts

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Finally...school starts next week."

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

'You are about to become professionals. You will no longer work for free. You will work pro bono.'

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

'Junior wrote his first memo today!'