Young Scholar Gifts

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself, while both Hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

"'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' by Lilia Anya, all rights reserved, which includes the right to reproduce this essay or portions thereof in any form whatsoever, including, but not limited to, novel, screenplay, musical, television miniseries, home vid

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'And just what type of sensitive material could a second grader have that makes him want a paper shredder for his birthday?'

'We had a fireman come to class today. Do you know what to do if you're ever caught in a burning building? Just stop, drop and roll...'

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

Lincoln Standardized Test Center. Formerly Lincoln High School.

"No time for cocoa, Mom. Getting my life plan started early by checking out colleges, courses offered and scholarships available."

"Papi, I need a cell phone."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I was master of all I surveyed... then they hit me with second grade."

"Just think, next year I'll be in fourth grade. I'm really going to miss the third grade...but going to the fourth grade is a wise career move for me."

"Finally...school starts next week."

"This summer, to get ahead of schedule, I read 'The Aguero Sisters' by Cristina Garcia."

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

"Some people call this an elementary school. Not me. I call it pre-med."

"Papi, I'm writing my resume!"

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

If I knew how to read this, it would probably make me gag...

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'Unlike my colleagues in the 4th grade, I welcome the challenge!'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

Boy and girl at thier studies

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'